I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog’s. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt.
― THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird (via shroomfairy)

(Source: blythebrooklyn)



when she spread it wide and you hear that mac and cheese noise

the thang open up and sound like puttin 2 jelly samwiches together


i got 99 problems and probably about 94 of them come from my lack of motivation to do anything


when in doubt eat her out

It is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it. I’ve heard it said that satisfaction is the death of desire.
― Hank Moody (via psych-facts)
By avoiding sex during an active outbreak, chances of virus transmission are 4% a year (Terri Warren, RN, NP – WebMD, 2005). Yes, per year, not sexual session. Dividing this figure by 365 days (or nights), this makes the possibility of spreading the virus on any given day/night .0001%, or 1/10,000 (.04 / 365 = 0.000109589041).
http://earthwindandherpes.tumblr.com/post/41444118403/the-transmission-rate-post (via sequinagini)